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<textarea id="t2" style="width:800px; height:400px; " >Little Daddy
Episode 2


Daddy!

Stop! I'll tell you again, I’m not your dad. Your uncle and I have sorted things out. I’m not your dad. You got it wrong.

Shh!

What are you shushing me for?

Daddy, I know there were people around during the day. That’s why I waited until night.

What?

Daddy, I know you can’t reveal your identity, mommy told me everything.

What?

I got all your letters. Did you get mine?

What letters？

My dearest son, how are you doing? I’m awfully sorry that I didn’t come to see your school performance. You know, I was on a secret mission in the Sahara Desert...a secret mission?

Who wrote this?

You did.

How could I have written this?

Of course you did.

Why on earth would I go to the Sahara Desert?

Hello, son. Mommy has sent the video of your performance to me, and I have watched it. Congratulations son, you did a wonderful job. I like the scarecrow you played very much. Who wrote this? Who’s that stupid? When did I see that play?

You wrote it.

I would never write such rubbish!

You wrote it.

I think that’s for me to decide! Why are you staring at me? I’m telling you I didn’t write it.

You wrote it.

Why are you so stubborn? I told you I didn’t. You’re wrong. I didn’t write it, my handwriting isn’t that terrible, ok? How could it be possible? I didn’t write it. You really, really got it wrong. I’m not your father! Ask him.

He found me completely on his own, I had nothing to do with it.

Sorry, give me a second to think this through. Mr. Yu, I have a suggestion.

Go ahead.

Starting today, you take care of Summer temporarily.

What did you say? Are you crazy? I take care of him? You said if I signed the paper he wouldn’t be my responsibility. Are you going back on your word?

Summer wants you.

You see what a mess my life is, how could he live with me?

You’re his father after all. Summer has the right to get to know you.

Wait. He wants to know me? I’m a terrible, terrible person, you must have realized that right away. I’m not a good man, the more he knows, the more disappointed he’ll be. He should know more about you.

Mr. Yu, please listen to me. Here’s what I think: let Summer live with you for a while, and soon he’ll discover who you are and the kind of life you’re living. I believe in no time, maybe shorter than a day, he’ll ask me to take him back to the States. I know Summer well. Don’t worry, he’ll never want to stay here.

Come on, you are the kid’s uncle, how can you take such a big risk? What are you thinking? You leave your nephew with a man like me. I just can’t understand it.

Starting today I’m going to save the world with daddy! Save the world, save the world!

Stop it now, stop it! What the hell are you doing? What the hell? This is a bed you know? Do you know how much it costs? Be careful with it!

Daddy, what’s our mission today?

Stop! We’re not that close, don’t call me daddy! Sleep!

You faking it, huh? I know you’re faking! Sleep! Tell you what, this is the first time I’ve had a kid under my roof. Don’t upset me or I swear I will throw you out. You’re here temporarily, got it? Got it?!

Yes.

Sleep!

Where are you going?

Why should you care? Are you my father, huh? Remember, close your eyes and be good, you hear me? Don’t touch anything in this room! I’ll make you pay if you damage anything, understand? Sleep!

Dude, can I ask you something?

Yeah.

You disappear every time the bill comes, is that because you were off saving the world?

Are you mocking me?

I’m not. I just have to know. After you rip your shirt off, do you do this? Or this? Hey, I’m kidding, calm down!

Hey, you think this is a joke? That’s enough.

Alright. Hey, I’m wondering, Xia Xiaobai really something else. How do you think she came up with this scheme?

She was a Stanford honors student, right?

Oh my god! What a terrifying thought, if she had grabbed my hand way back then, I’d be playing Superman right now!

What’s your problem? I’d give anything to fix this mess, and you’re having a good time?

Ok, ok, chill. I just needed to get that out, alright? You wanna hear what I really think?

Spit it out.

Look, a six year old son appears out of the blue, people are gonna despise you. It’s a good thing you have no shame so it won’t kill you. But the thing is, you have a girlfriend now. If Shanshan finds out, what’s gonna happen?

You know what, I don’t even want to think about that. If she finds out, I’m worried I’ll never be able to have legitimate children.

Oh. So what are you gonna do?

Stay put. What else can I do? She’s modelling in Huludao now and won’t be back for 2 weeks. If everything goes as planned, the kid will back in the States by then. It’ll be like nothing ever happened.

Fingers crossed...

Shanshan.

Stay calm, don’t panic.

Hello.

Baby, are you being a good boy?

Of course, better than you can possible imagine.

How good is that?

The best. I’ve been so good, do I get a reward?

Of course you do. It’s me!

Monster!

Ahhhh!

Hello? What’s going on?

A ghost!

What are you doing?

Ahhhhh!

Man!

Out of my way, out of my way!

Chill, man, listen to me.

What?

Listen to me, if you go back right now, you’re a dead man. I thought through every single way she can handle this, and you are completely doomed.

So then what should I do?

Here’s my advice: hide. You dug a hole for yourself and fell into it, so just stay there, and let the two of them yell at each other. Once the dust is settled, and the kid and Shanshan are exhausted, you go back, in tears and full of remorse. Cry when you have to, and whenever you mention your name, curse yourself. By then, even if Shanshan is holding a knife, I’m guessing she won’t have the heart to cut you open. Then you grab her and hold her tight, take her hand in yours and caress her shoulders, and everything will be ok. My girlfriend, hold on. Yes, baby, you ok? Shanshan called you? Disgusting! No no no no, I didn’t mean you, I meant Yu Guo, what a monster! He’s a womanizer and a heartbreaker, he’s impossible! I just heard about it, really. I nearly broke off our friendship right here! You’re going over there too? Oh, I’ll pick you up first then. Bad news, your future wife called my future wife.

Why is your girlfriend getting involved?

They’ve already decided to team up with each other, what can I do? How about this, man? Let’s go pick her up and then go to your place, ok?

Didn’t we agree to put the fire out at my place first and then go to your place for the night?

Listen to me, this thing, you have to face it directly. Man, brace yourself!

What?

Brace yourself, ok? You need to face it.

What?

Who are you? Get off my bed!

Why did you break into my daddy’s room?

Your daddy’s? This is my boyfriend’s room!

Who is your boyfriend?

Yu Guo!

Liar! My mommy is Yu Guo’s girlfriend, Yu Guo is my dad!

What did you say?

Get out of here!

I will not!

If you don’t, I’ll take off my pants!

I won’t! Take them off, then!

You little shit!

What did you say to her on the phone?

I said I had no idea. I really didn’t. Hey, Yu Guo, when did you have a son?

Long time ago, and the kid was “Made in the USA.”

What are you talking about?

Baby, it’s like this. We went to the States together before, Stanford remember? The kid’s mother is the girl who was our tour guide. Snowy skin, long legs...

You fooled around in America?

No, he fooled around! I didn’t.

When have I ever fooled around?! I can’t explain everything to you right now, I just need to know how Shanshan reacted.

She’s pissed. That’s how every woman would react!

Hey, man, listen, so she’s pissed, can’t change that. The important thing now is what you should do after you get over there.

What he should do? Admit it and see if Shanshan can forgive you.

No!

What? You’re telling me you wouldn’t admit to it? Are you serious? It’s not like you can make the kid disappear! Fine, say you refuse to admit he’s yours, why’d he come find you all the way from America? Who could be his father then?

Right, why did he find me?! Who’s actually his father?

Hey, why are you looking at me? I’m not his father!

Dude, you also went to America. You also knew Xia Xiaobai.

You can’t possibly be thinking about putting this on me? I believe you made a mistake, but not deliberately. I’ll do it.

Wait! You two are going to lie to Shanshan?

It’s not exactly a lie, it’s just not the whole truth.

Xiaoai, you have to believe me. I was young and naive back then. I went abroad, and I couldn’t resist the temptation. I made a mistake any immature man would make. But I guarantee, that was just a phase, it’s over. Shanshan is not. I want to marry her. Don’t break us apart, why would you want to do that?

Listen, baby. I understand you, too. We don’t have to help him. You make a mistake, you have to live with it. Life isn’t like a car you can turn around. For such a despicable man like him, we must not give him an easy way out! We must let him get a taste of his own medicine! We must shatter his life completely so he learns about responsibility! Shanshan must break up with him! He must live a life of pain and misery that even the strongest painkiller can’t ease!

Are you two in on this together?

No we’re not.

Not at all.

Go out, go out, you are not wanted!

You’re disgusting!

What the hell is going on?

Daddy!

Honey!

Calm down!

Darling, I can explain everything…

He’s my son.

Yes.

Really?

See? I knew you wouldn’t believe me. It’s like this. When Dasheng was in America, he got together with the girl who picked us up at the airport. You can’t blame him though. She was gorgeous, long legs and snow white skin, and...

And I made a mistake any immature man would make.

Yes.

Who is your father?

Son! Son!


Xiaoai...

Hey Shanshan, after you called, she told me everything, ok? I don’t blame you, because you didn’t know the truth, you know? Hey, don’t look at me like that. I know you don’t believe me, you think I’m lying and trying to cover up for him, but you have to believe Xiaoai. She’s a teacher and she’d never lie. Honey, mind backing me up a little?

Yes, right. Dasheng is his father.

You see?

You don’t believe it?

I didn’t say anything. I have a class tomorrow, I have to go now.

We’re not finished yet.

Why, isn’t it clear enough? Are you clear Shanshan?

Dasheng, are you coming or not?

Yeah, coming.

What about your son?

Should I take him?

Hey! Wait, baby. Baby?


Hey, why’d you leave like that?

What’s wrong with you guys? You went too far! Are disloyalty and irresponsibility embedded in men’s genes or what?

Hey, that’s Yu Guo! You can’t discredit all men because of one guy!

You’re no better than him.

I’m telling the truth. I swear to heaven, I’m not like him, not at all.


Baby, don’t be upset. It’s not worth it. Let me take you home. Or you can come back to my place?

What do you mean?

What can I mean? I have two fluffy rabbits. Isn’t that your zodiac sign?

It’s the middle of the night and you want me to see your rabbits?

Why does the time matter? They don’t shape shift at night. My rabbits love to sleep during the day. They come to life at night.


Ok? You know what baby, they are so cute…

Sir, take him wherever he wants to go, but be careful, he’s a bit crazy.

Sure.

Hey, you’re not coming with me?

Bye!

Is he really your baby?

Yes, he is. I met his mother when we were in America, but she never told me we had a son. His mom passed away a month ago. He came from America to find me. Now I’m a father. You think this news hit you like a thunderbolt, think about how I feel…

Stop! You said his mom died?

Yeah.

What was her name?

Xia Xiaobai.

Was she pretty?

She was a hundred times prettier than you.

Didn’t you say I was your first love?

Yeah, but doesn’t every man say that?

Wait, wait, wait...

I’m going home.

Wait.

I’m leaving.

To where? Where are you going?

It’s time.

Time for what?

Time for bed. I’m going home.

You can sleep here.

I want my own bed.

Ok, I’ll take you home. Let’s go.

No, I want to be alone.

Yes?

Hey man, still alive? How did things go?



Look, it’s gonna be alright, come out for a drink. Drown your sorrow in a bottle. The usual place. Come on, I’ll pay this time, ok?

Ok.

See you soon.

Hungry?

Yeah.

Hey, slow down a bit ok? I said I’ll pay. Look at you eat, it’s like you’ve been starving yourself your entire life.

When’s the last time you payed? I gotta take advantage of this. Look at it as a welcome dinner for our new friend, ok? What’s your name by the way? It’s ok, just eat! Dasheng's treating tonight. Don’t worry about the bill, just eat till you explode, alright? Eat and drink as much as you can, hear me? Cheers.

I’m rich.

I’m rich.


What? What? What’s wrong?

Spicy…

Then drink! Drink. There’s beer right in front of him, what’s with this kid?

Hey, wait! You’re gonna let him drink? It’s got alcohol, he’ll get drunk.

So what? All men drink, right? It’s ok, drink it. It’s ok.

That totally makes sense.

Right.


Come on. Mister?

Yeah?

Ten lamb kebabs and ten chicken wings.

Ok.

I saw a friend, I should say hello.

Everyone’s your friend.

That’s not true. It’s a friend.

You don’t want to eat?

I don’t.

What’s your problem?

What a coincidence! We meet again.

You know him?

Yeah! Surprise, it must be destiny! You’re her boyfriend, right?

He’s my brother.

Oh is he? Hello there. Hey, tell me, is that Ducati yours?

Yes.

Good for you! European motorcycles are the best! Japanese motorcycles are trash. Kawasaki, Suzuki and Yamaha are worthless! Waiter, bring me a glass! Here, bottle for you, glass for me, cheers.

I’m driving, I can’t drink.

What? Bullshit! Come on! Don’t be shy, come on!

I don’t drink.

You don’t? I bet your sister does. Cheers!

Forget about our order! Let’s go!

Your sister can drink.

Cancel the order.

You’re leaving? You’re leaving? Hey, don’t, don’t leave! Hey, hey, why’d you cancel your order?

What are you doing?

I’m helping you warm up your bike.

Do you even know how to drive?

What kind of question is that?

Do you know what you are doing?

Hey! Where are you going?

Yu Guo!

My bike!

Yu Guo? Yu Guo, Yu Guo! Are you alright?

My bike!

Yu Guo, get up and let me see! Are you hurt? Do you feel pain? Let me see! Did you hurt yourself?

I’m alright! Her bike has a bad brake!

Are you sure you are alight?!

I’m sure!

Let me see!

It’s got a bad brake!

We need to go to the hospital!

Bad brake!

We need to get you X-rayed!

Bad brake!

Unbelievable! That bastard!

What about the bill?

What bill?

Your friends left without paying.

He is not my friend!

What about the kid then?

What kid? I don’t know.

No, you need to take the kid.

What?

The kid.

Wait, it has nothing to do with me!

Hey...

I don’t know him.

Here, see?

Summer? Summer?

He’s…

Come in.

Give me a hand, he’s heavy.

Put him on the sofa, hurry.

Did we just bring someone else’s kid home?

What other choice did we have? Leave him in the street?

I mean his parents would be so worried!

That schmuck who totalled my bike is his father.

Alright, he’s yours.

Hello, this is Taylor. Oh, Miss Li, hello. I remember you. What? Where is he now? I see. I’m in Seoul now, I will take the next flight to Beijing. Can you take care of him before I go back？ Thank you, sorry to trouble you. Selena, it’s me. Book the next flight to Beijing for me. Yeah. One-way, and text me the flight information. That’s it.

Baby! Baby, what’s wrong?

I’m gonna break up with him this time!

Calm down, tell me what happened.

Hey, did you help me wash the pajamas?

What does it matter, just say something!

I think it’s pretty cool.

What’s so cool?

It’s exactly what happens in the movies. Not a Chinese or Hong Kong one, a Western one.

What Western movie?

Did you see The Pursuit of Happyness?

What about I am Sam?

You need to get out more! You must have seen Léon The Professional, right?

What? What does that have to do with me?

Of course it does! Look, men like Yu Guo, they start out as good for nothings, but then they suddenly have a son and completely change! That’s the Western way!

Really?

Of course! Think about it, both of you are so young, and you have a kid together. It’s like the cutest thing ever!

Really?

Of course! You know Victoria Beckham? And David Beckham? They’re also young and good-looking, and they have children they can dress up to look exactly like them! How cool would that be!

But he’s not my son.

Isn’t that better? Look, many women die giving birth! Yu Guo did a good job this time! Don’t overthink this, just listen to me this time. Have a good sleep tonight, tomorrow we’ll go see Yu Guo together and you just do what I tell you.

Ok.

Coming.

Hello.

Oh!

Is Li Sanmei in?

Yes.

I told her I’d be stopping by.

Come in then.

Thank you.

Sanmei, a man’s here to see you.

What?

Hello.

You made it. Summer, come!

Uncle?

Who is it? Who is it?

Why are you so slow?!

What are you doing here?

What do you think? I came for a nice cup of morning tea?

She already told you?

Yes and she cried her eyes out. Her face was still red this morning. Poor thing.

Is my baby better now?

Oh, you still think she’s with you?! You screwed this one up big time, you think she still wants you? Yu Guo, you continue to amaze me. What else do you have going but that handsome face? You...I don’t know what to say!

I didn’t even know Shanshan back then!

What about the kid? That’s the problem at hand, right?

God.

What are you gonna do?

That boy has a uncle, ok? He said he’d take him back to America soon.

Are you sure?

Of course.

You gonna admit you were wrong?

Yes, I was wrong. I made a huge mistake.

Come in.

Honey, don’t be mad at me, I was wrong. I was too mean, refusing your baby. I thought it through, since you’re his daddy, and I’m with you, I’ll be his stepmother.

Wait, that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Fate is so cruel to us.

Are you ready to go back with me?

To Yu Guo’s place?

Of course not. I won’t let you go back. Look what happened yesterday.
Why? We really had fun yesterday. Dad took me to eat something, very yummy, very spicy. After I drank the beer, I felt much better. The beer is good. Then, we met Auntie Sanmei, so we came here.

Wait. Beer?

Yes!

Not just a sip, he got drunk. And Yu Guo totalled my bike!

Harder!

Here?

Yeah.

He left?

Yeah. Stop, I know what you’re going to ask. It’s not what you think.

Sanmei...

Don’t even! I’m telling you I don’t know that man at all. He’s a customer, understand?

Yeah. What about you?

Got it.

What do you know about it? Nosy nellies!

You want this? Yeah!

Who the hell could that be? Who is it?

Hello, handsome.

May I talk to you alone?

Take him with you.

No, I want to be with you.

Just go downstairs for a bit.

How could you give him alcohol?

What’s wrong with a little beer? It cleans out your body. If you can drink, so can he.

He is only six, and I don’t drink beer.

Oh.

Why’d you leave without him?

I must have forgotten him.

You forgot him? What if someone steals him? What then, huh?!

But he’s fine, right?

Honestly, I want to take him back now.

I won’t stop you.

But he doesn’t want to leave. He still has delusions you’re a good man. I must respect his wish and let him stay. But I expect him to be healthy when I come pick him up next time. If he’s sick or thinner, I will be very unhappy.

You think I’m happy? I’m feeding him and you’re blaming me? I’m not a rich man, I can’t afford bread, butter or hamburgers. If you’ve got a problem with how I’m doing this, take him and leave now!

Ok. From now on, I’ll pay for his daily expenses. Call me when you need more. How’s that?

Well, it’s not a bad idea.

You haven’t taken the paternity test, right? Do it as soon as you can. After you see the result, I’m sure you’ll treat Summer better.

Mr. Guo, long time no see! I’ll be staying in Beijing a while this time so I want you to find me someone.

Baby!

What are you doing here?

I was thinking about you and I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been here since dawn waiting for you.

Why does that sound so fake to me?

That’s my fault, ok? Every word’s true, but you think I’m lying. How about this? Every now and then, I’ll throw in a lie, then you’ll start trusting me.

Go away.

Hey, I’ll drive you there.

No, I’m already late!

Wait!

I’ll take the subway.

The car is faster, really.

Hey! What, are you kidnapping me now?

Of course not! You’re just going undercover.

See? See? We’re stuck in traffic. Who said it’d be faster? When will I ever get to school?

Hey, calm down and don’t panic. I’ll play some music. We’ll get there at once! Here we go.

Sing:
What are your eyes trying to tell me?
Buried beneath your solemnity is hesitation.

The air feels heavy…

Baby, how about meeting up for lunch with me?

I have to grade papers!

How about dinner?

We’ll see!

Mr. Yu right?

Yes.

Did you fill out the forms?

Yes.

Paternity test, right?

Yes.

Do you have a sample?

Yes. This is the child’s hair. Your assistant asked me to give it to you. They already have mine.

Oh.

Umm…I have a question. When can I know the result?

Is it an emergency?

Yeah, I need to know the result as soon as possible.

It takes at least three days, and you need to pay an extra fee. Go to the cashier and pay three hundred Yuan.

An extra fee?

That’s the rule.

Oh, then forget about it.

In that case, you’ll get the results after seven business days.

Ok, so that’s it?

Yeah, you can go now.

Alright.

Stop! Who are you?

Look, I just bought lunch for my girlfriend.

Get out, out.

What’s wrong?

Stand here and we can talk.

What? What’s to talk about? I bought lunch for my girlfriend, sir! What’s the problem?

We have rules about visitors.

What rules?

You need to register first.

Look, sir, I’ll be right back.

You need to register first.

Ok, I will. I’ll register when I come back. Hey, don’t touch me, ok? My girlfriend works here, why are you blocking my way? Really!

Register!

I said I will! I’ll register after I give her the food...What’s your problem? Stay away from me, ok?  You spilled my food. What’s wrong with you?

I can tell you’re not a decent man!

You’re not a decent man! You’re not a decent man! What do you know about me?

Hey, what are you still doing up here? Your boyfriend is downstairs arguing with the security guard. You’d better go.</textarea>
<textarea id="t3" style="width:800px; height:400px; " >
    Little Daddy
    Episode 2

2-2 1:33
人物：于果，夏天。泰勒
CHARACTERS: YU GUO, XIA TIAN, TAYLOR

夏天：爸爸！

于果：停！我不是你爸爸。我再跟你说一遍，你舅舅已经跟我作过证了。我不是你爸爸，你搞错了。

夏天：嘘！

于果：嘘什么呀?

夏天：爸爸，我知道白天有人在，你不方便，所以我等天黑了才来。


于果：啊？

夏天：爸爸，我知道你不能暴露身份，妈妈其实全都告诉我了。

于果：啊？

夏天：你给我写的信我都收到，那我给你写的信你收到了吗？

于果：什么信啊？亲爱的儿子，你好。非常抱歉没能参加你学校的舞台剧首演，没有办法，那个时候爸爸正在撒哈拉沙漠的中央执行秘密任务。这谁写的啊？

夏天：你写的呀。

于果：怎、怎么可能是我写的呢？

夏天：就是你写的呀。

于果：我没事我、我、我、我跑撒哈拉干嘛去啊？儿子，你好。妈妈给我寄来你的演出录像，爸爸看到了。首先要恭喜你，演出非常成功。爸爸非常喜欢你演的稻草人。谁呀？谁这么缺心眼写这个？我、我、我看什么演出啊？

夏天：你写的呀。

于果：我、我、我怎么可能写这些东西呢？

夏天：就是你写的。

于果：我写没写我不知道啊？你看着我干嘛？我告诉你这不是我写的。

夏天：反正这就是你写的。

于果：你怎么那么死心眼啊？我说不是我写的。你、你搞错了。真不是我写的，我写的我、我、 我、 我那字有这么难看吗？啊？怎么可能呢？不是我写的，你真、真的搞错了。（吸气）我不是你爸爸！

泰勒：（呼气）

于果：你问他。是他自个儿拎着箱子来找我的，跟我半毛钱关系都没有。

泰勒：对不起，请给我一点时间，我想安静一下。于先生，我有个建议。

于果：你说。

泰勒：从今天开始，夏天暂时由你照顾。

于果：你说什么？你没事吧？由我照顾？你可说了，咱俩签了字，他就跟我什么关系都没有了。你不能说话不算数啊？

泰勒：这是孩子自己的意愿。

于果：你也看见了我现在的生活状况，他、他、他怎么跟着我一块儿生活呀？

泰勒：无论如何你是孩子的爸爸，夏天有权利了解自己的父亲。

于果：冷静。他了解我什么呀？我是一个特别特别不靠谱的人，打眼一瞧就瞧得出来。我这么不靠谱，他了解我，越了解越添堵。他最应该了解的人应该是你。

泰勒：于先生，请你听我说。我呢，是这么想的：你就让夏天跟你生活一段时间，（吸气）他自然会对你的生活还有你，有一个全面而清醒的了解。我相信过不了多久，甚至不需要二十四个小时，他就会自己要求跟我回美国。以我对夏天的了解，你真的不需要担心他会想要留在这里。

于果：（咂嘴）哎呀，你说你是孩子的舅舅，你这心怎么这么大呢？你、你怎么、怎么、怎么想的，就能把一孩子交给我这么一不靠谱的人，我、我、我、我挺想不通的我其实。

2-2 5:31
人物：夏天，于果
CHARACTERS: XIA TIAN, YU GUO

夏天：从今天开始，我就可以和爸爸一起拯救世界了！我拯救世界，拯救世界！

于果：你给我停下来，停下来！你瞎蹦哒什么呀？蹦哒什么呀？这是床你知道吗？知道那个床有多贵吗？再给蹦塌喽！

夏天：爸爸，我们今天执行什么任务？

于果：打住！咱俩没那么熟，瞎叫什么呀？睡觉！你装睡是不是，啊？你是不是装睡啊？睡觉！我告诉你啊，我第一次跟小孩打交道，别招我烦啊！招我烦我就轰你走。我是暂时收留你，你知道吗？知道吗？

夏天：知道。

于果：睡觉！

夏天：你干嘛去啊？

于果：你管我干嘛去啊？你怎么那么爱管闲事啊，啊？我告诉你啊，你就踏踏实实在这儿睡觉， 听见没有？这个房间里的任何东西都不许碰！你要是碰坏了我就让你赔，你知道吗？睡觉！

2-3 6:58
人物：于果，齐大胜，姗姗，夏天
CHARACTERS: YU GUO, QI DASHENG, SHANSHAN, XIA TIAN

齐大胜：（吸气）兄弟，我能问你一事吗？

于果：说。

齐大胜：（吸气）你说咱俩每回吃完饭，一到买单的时候你就颠了。原来你是去拯救世界了？

于果：你成心的吧？

齐大胜：打住。我现在特别想知道，你把那小背心一撕开的时候，你是唰的一下这样了呢，还是唰的一下这样了？（笑）哎、哎、哎，我跟你开玩笑，嘛呀你？

于果：哎，你没事吧你？差不多得了啊。

齐大胜：行行行。哎，我想问问你啊，（笑）这夏小白也够有才的啊？她怎么能想到写信这出呢？

于果：斯坦福的高材生啊，人家是。

齐大胜：哎哟，哎哟哟，我跟你说我现在想想其实特后怕。你说当初她要是把我的这手给牵了的话，（笑）那么我现在就是这superman了！（笑）

于果：你没事吧你？我现在都已经悔的肠子都断了好几截了，你甩什么片汤儿话啊跟这儿？

齐大胜：行，好，好好好，我不甩片、片汤儿话了，行了吧？我跟你说点正经的，你想听吗？

于果：你快、快、快、快说。

齐大胜：你看啊，你从天而降这么大一儿子啊，顶多是遭众人的唾弃。但是你这人没羞没臊惯了，唾弃也就唾弃吧。可是你别忘了，你还有一个女朋友呢。如果姗姗知道这个事，后果你说怎么办？

于果：我就跟你讲，我、我现在都、都不敢往那方面想。哎哟，你说姗姗要知道这事，我估计我，我这辈子就别想再有儿子了。

齐大胜：哦。那你打算怎么办？

于果：扛着呗，能怎么办呀？她反正现在在葫芦岛拍广告，等她回来，怎么着也得半个月以后了。如果顺利的话，那时候，这孩子应该回美国了。我就当什么事没发生呗。

齐大胜：希望是这样吧……

于果：姗姗。

齐大胜：（低声）注意语速，千万别颤啊。

于果：喂。

姗姗：叔叔，你乖不乖呀？

于果：乖，特别特别地乖。

姗姗：很乖是多乖啊？

于果：就是乖的不得了。我这么乖，有没有奖励啊？

姗姗：当然有奖励啦，就是我啊。

夏天：啊！妖怪！

姗姗：啊！

于果：喂？怎么啦？

夏天，姗姗：啊！

姗姗：鬼啊！

姗姗：你在干嘛？！

夏天：啊！

齐大胜：兄弟！

于果：你干嘛呀，干嘛呀？

齐大胜：不是，兄弟，你听我说。

于果：你干嘛呀？

齐大胜：我跟你说，你现在要是回去了，你基本上可就就义了啊。我刚才瞬间想到了姗姗的各种反应，没有一种反应你是能得全尸的！

于果：那你说我该怎么办啊？

齐大胜：躲呀。我给你个建议啊，反正这事你是不仁不义在先了，你索性就认怂，先让他们俩闹去。大人孩子闹完了，等到不行的时候你再杀回去，晓之以情，动之以理，该掉泪的时候掉泪，凡是提到自个儿名字的时候，后面都加一个shit啊。到时候姗姗就是拿着刀，我估计她都不忍心再砍你了。

齐大胜：这个时候你再顺势把她搂入怀中，小手一握，小肩一揉，哦，这个事就OK了。我媳妇，等会儿。

齐大胜：哎哎，小宝宝，怎么了？姗姗给你打电话了？（吸气）太不要脸了！不不不是， 我不是说你啊，我是说于果，他太不要脸了！干出这种男盗女娼，始乱终弃的事，他太不要脸了他！我我、我也是刚知道，真的，我俩差点连哥儿们都做不了了，真的！你、你也要过去啊？哦，那我去先接上你啊。完了，你未来媳妇给我未来媳妇打电话了。

于果：（吸气）你媳妇裹什么乱啊这是？

齐大胜：不是，那你说人家变成复仇者联盟，我有什么办法啊？兄弟，要不这样，咱先去她那儿接上她，然后再去你那儿，成吗？

于果：不是说好去我那儿处理完问题，让我到你那儿躲一宿的吗？

齐大胜：你听我跟你说，你这事，躲得了初一躲不过十五。兄弟，这事你得面对！

于果：啊？

齐大胜：你得面对，知道吗？这事你真得面对。

于果：啊？

2-4 11:45
人物：姗姗，夏天
CHARACTERS: SHANSHAN, XIA TIAN

姗姗：你是谁呀？快从我的床上下来！

夏天：你凭什么闯进我爸爸的屋子？！

姗姗：你爸爸的屋子？这是我男朋友的屋子！

夏天：你男朋友是谁呀？

姗姗：于果！

夏天：骗人！我妈妈才是于果的女朋友！于果是我爸爸！

姗姗：你说谁是你爸爸？

夏天：你赶紧给我出去！

姗姗：我就不！

夏天：你再不出去，我就要脱裤子了！

姗姗：我才不呢。你脱呀？你脱呀？

夏天：（哼唱）

姗姗：啊！无耻！无耻的小孩！

1-5 12:29
人物：于果，齐大胜，小艾
CHARACTERS: YU GUO, QI DASHENG, XIAOAI

于果：你在电话里怎么跟姗姗说的呀？

小艾：我说我不知道呀。我本来就不知道呀。哎，于果，你怎么突然生出一儿子来呀？

齐大胜：生是早生的，而且还是made in USA的。

小艾：到底是怎么回事啊？

齐大胜：（咂嘴）小宝宝，他是这样啊。当年我们俩不是一块儿去美国嘛，斯坦福是吧，这孩子他妈啊，就是当年招待我们那人。脸儿特白，腿特长……

小艾：你们俩还去美国胡搞？

齐大胜：没有，是他胡搞，我没有啊！

于果：我什么时候胡搞了？我这事也跟你一时半会儿说不清楚，我现在就关心姗姗在电话里是什、什么态度？

小艾：急了呗。但凡是个正常的女的，遇到这种事谁不急啊？

齐大胜：啊，兄弟，我跟你说，急好，急真好。你现在最重要的就是想想，回家之后你怎么办。

小艾：能怎么办啊？照直说呗。看姗姗能不能原谅你。

于果，齐大胜：不。

小艾，不，你们俩别跟我说要跟姗姗死不认帐吧？不，这不现实，那么大一个儿子摆那儿呢！哦，就算你咬死了不承认这儿子是你的，那人为什么从美国来找你呢？谁才是他爸爸呢？

于果：对呀，他为什么来找我呀？谁才是他爸爸呀？

齐大胜：不是，你看着我干嘛？我又不是他爸爸！

于果：兄弟，夏小白你也认识，美国你也去过。

齐大胜：兄弟，你不会是想让我来给你背这黑锅吧？（叹气）我相信我兄弟是做错事，而不是做坏事。我来扛。

小艾：慢！你们俩这不是合伙蒙姗姗的吗？

齐大胜：啊，不不不，这不是蒙，这就是那善意的小谎言。

于果：小艾老师，你一定要相信我。我当年那是少不经事，刚到资本主义社会，受到了花花世界的小诱惑，所以就犯了一个不成熟男人都会犯的错误。但是我保证那只是个插曲，可是姗姗不是啊，我是真心奔着结婚去的。这种棒打鸳鸯的事，您特别不能干吧？

齐大胜：哎，小宝宝啊，我知道你心软。咱不一定非得帮他啊。走错一步，永远回不了头。不比开车， 没有倒档。像这种人面兽心的人，必须让他站在道德制高点来审判他，必须让他尝尝众叛亲离的滋味，必须让他用错失真爱的代价来懂得一个男人应该负的责任。就让姗姗跟他分手，就让他痛不欲生、痛彻心扉，连吃止疼药片都吃到他消化不良！

小艾：（冷哼）（冷哼）你们俩配合得够默契的啊？

齐大胜：没有啊。

于果：没有啊。

小艾：（冷哼）（叹气）

2-6 16:00
人物：夏天，于果，姗姗，齐大胜，小艾
CHARACTERS: XIA TIAN, YU GUO, SHANSHAN, QI DASHENG, XIAOAI

夏天：（大叫）

姗姗：（大叫）脏死了！

齐大胜：这这这这什么状况啊这是？

夏天：爸爸！

姗姗：（哭腔）叔叔！

于果：哎，冷静！

于果：（嘿嘿笑）亲爱的，其实事情是这样的……

齐大胜：这孩子是我的。

于果：哎。

姗姗：是吗？

于果：你看，我就知道跟你说了你不相信。其实事情是这样的：齐大胜当年在美国的时候，就跟我们那个搞接待的在一起了。但也不能怪他，那个女孩腿挺长，脸挺白，结果就……

齐大胜：（嘿嘿笑）结果我就犯了一个不成熟男人都会犯的错误。

于果：哎。

姗姗：你爸爸是谁？

齐大胜：儿子。

于果：（笑）

齐大胜：儿子。

于果：（笑）

齐大胜，于果：（笑）

姗姗：小艾姐……

齐大胜：哎，姗姗啊，你给小艾姐打电话，你小艾姐就跟我说了，啊？我不怪你啊，因为你不知情你知道吧？不是，姗姗你千万别用这种眼神看着我。我知道你不相信我们啊，觉得我们是一丘之貉、狼狈为奸、互相包庇，（吸气）但是你得相信你小艾姐啊。人民教师永远站在道德的制高点，从来不说谎话。媳妇，你说两句行吗？

小艾：对，没错，大胜是这孩子的爸。

齐大胜：你看看。

小艾：（呼气）你信吗？我可什么都没说啊。我明天还有课，那我就先回去了。

于果：这儿还没说清楚呢。

小艾：不，我没说清楚吗？姗姗你清楚了吗？（反应）大胜，你走不走啊？

齐大胜：走走，走走走。

小艾：那你儿子你不带上吗？

齐大胜：带还是不带啊？哎，哎，哎哎，小宝宝，小、小宝宝？

于果，夏天：（嘿嘿笑）

2-7 19:03
人物：小艾，齐大胜，男司机2-7
CHARACTERS: XIAOAI, QI DASHENG, MALE DRIVER 2-7

齐大胜：哎哎哎，你怎么说走就走啊？

小艾：你说你们干的这叫什么事啊？太不靠谱了！哎你们男的是不是天生骨子里就有那种信口雌黄、背信弃义、始乱终弃的这些基因啊？

齐大胜：啊，那是于果！你不能因为一颗老鼠屎而藐视一锅粥吧？

小艾：我看你也是那颗老鼠屎！

齐大胜：天地良心，我我、我对天发誓啊，我是那锅粥，倍儿白的粥。

小艾：哼！

齐大胜：小宝宝，你别生气了。为那种人生气多不值当啊！我送你回家吧！那要不你上我那儿看看？

小艾：你要干嘛呀？

齐大胜：我能干嘛呀？我养了两只兔子，安哥拉长毛垂耳兔。你不是属兔嘛。

小艾：大半夜的，你让我去看你的兔子？

齐大胜：大半夜怎么就不能看兔子了？兔子非得白天看啊？我那两只兔子一到白天就爱睡觉，晚上才有精神呢。

小艾：（反应）

齐大胜：走着。我跟你说小宝宝，我那两个兔子长得可漂亮了……

小艾：师傅，去哪儿你问他。不过您路上小心点啊，这人精神不正常。

男司机2-7：得嘞。
MALE DRIVER 2-7:

齐大胜：不是，你不跟我回去看兔子了啊？

小艾：再见！

2-8 20:46
人物：夏天，于果，姗姗，齐大胜
CHARACTERS: XIA TIAN, YU GUO, SHANSHAN, QI DASHENG

姗姗：（哭腔）他真的是你的baby啊？

于果：没错，他是我的，是我跟他妈妈在美国认识之后有的孩子，可是他妈妈一直没有告诉我有这么一个孩子。直到他妈妈一个月之前去世了，他从美国跑来找我，我才知道有这么一个孩子，你说你晴天霹雳，比你霹雳一百倍……

姗姗：停！你说他妈死了？

于果：啊。

姗姗：他妈叫什么呀？

于果：夏小白。

姗姗：他妈长得漂亮吗？

夏天：我妈比你好看一百倍。

姗姗：（哭泣）你不是说，（吸气）你不是说我是你的初恋吗？

于果：对呀。这不是每个男人都会这么说吗？

姗姗：（哭泣）

于果：别别别，别别别……

姗姗：（哭腔）我要回家。

于果：别别别。

姗姗：（哭腔）我要走。

于果：你干嘛去？你去哪儿啊？

姗姗：（哭腔）时间到了。

于果：你什么时间到了？

姗姗：（哭腔）睡觉的时间。我要回家。

于果：那你就在这儿睡吧。

姗姗：（哭腔）我要睡自己的床。

于果：不是，那我送送你，我送你。

姗姗：（哭腔）不要，我自己走。

于果：喂。

齐大胜：哎，兄弟，怎么着啊？警报解除没有啊？

于果：（叹气）

齐大胜：行了，雨过天晴，出来整两杯吧。俗话说得好，一醉解千愁。我老地方等你啊。行了，大不了这回我请客，成吧？

于果：那行吧。

齐大胜：德行的，挂了啊。

于果：（吸气）你饿吗？

夏天：饿。


2-9 22:51
人物：齐大胜，于果，夏天，李三妹，李三弟，男摊主1-6
CHARACTERS: QI DASHENG, YU GUO, XIA TIAN, LI SANMEI, LI SANDI, MALE VENDOR 1-6

齐大胜：哎，你慢点行吗？一会儿我结账。你看你，跟饿死鬼投胎似的。

于果：（含着食物）难得成吗？难得逮着你请我吃回串儿。你今儿就当给你大侄子接风了，成不成？你叫什么来着？没关系没关系，快吃快吃快吃。你大胜叔叔今天请客，别心疼，可劲儿吃。想吃什么吃什么，啊？可劲儿吃，可劲儿喝，好吧？来。

齐大胜：有钱。

于果：有钱。

齐大胜，于果：（笑）

夏天：（喘息）

于果：干嘛啊，干嘛？怎么了你？

夏天：辣！（喘息）

于果：辣辣，你喝呀！辣。

齐大胜：哎哎哎！

于果：有东西不喝，你这什么傻孩子你说这。

齐大胜：哎、哎、哎，不是，你真让他喝？一会儿喝多了，这是酒。

于果：酒怎么了？哪个男的不喝酒啊？行了，你多喝点，这没事。

齐大胜：有、有道理啊。（笑）

于果：（笑）

李三妹：走。（吸鼻子）（呼气）老板？

男摊主1-6：哎！
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：十个肉串，十个鸡翅。

男摊主1-6：好嘞。
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

夏天：（呼气）

于果：碰着一熟张儿，我打个招呼。

齐大胜：吹吧，谁都认识。

于果：什么叫，怎么、怎么不能认识？熟张儿。

李三妹：你还不吃啊？

李三弟：我不吃。

李三妹：装什么呀？

于果：（笑）谁呀这是，又见面了。（笑）

李三弟：认识？

于果：认识！缘分啊，在这儿能碰见真是缘分。你是她男朋友，是吧？

李三妹：我弟弟。

于果：哦弟弟呀？（笑）你好啊弟弟。（笑）哎，对了，那、那杜卡迪是你的吗？

李三妹：啊。

于果：厉害啊！玩车就得玩欧洲车，日本车都不是个儿。什么川崎、铃木、雅马哈都是狗屎！服务员，拿杯子来！来，你拿瓶，我拿杯子，来。

李三妹：我开车喝不了酒。

于果：嗯？哪有喝不了酒的呀，来来来来来！谁规定不能喝，来来！

李三弟：我、我不喝。

于果：你不喝？你不喝你姐喝，来来！

李三妹：哎，老板，那个烤串没烤不要了，走。

于果：给你姐喝。

李三弟：不要了啊！

男摊主1-6：好嘞。
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

于果：不要了？不要了？哎，别走啊，别走啊！哎、哎，不要了是是是、是什么意思？

李三弟：哎！

李三妹：你干嘛呀？

于果：走得热车，我帮你热热车。

李三妹：你会不会开车？

于果：什么叫会不会呀？

李三妹：行不行啊你？

齐大胜：哎？哎，你干嘛去？

齐大胜：兄弟！

李三妹：我的车！

齐大胜：兄弟，兄弟兄弟兄弟！你没事吧兄弟？

李三妹：我的车呀！你说你没事骑什么车啊！你会不会骑车啊！不会骑车你瞎骑。你看我这车镜子。你会不会骑车啊！你不会骑车你动我什么车啊你！你给我把车扶起来！你说你们。

齐大胜：兄弟，你起来让我看看摔坏没有？摔坏没有？疼不疼？我看看。摔哪儿了？摔哪儿了？摔哪儿了？

于果：我我、我没、没什么事。主主、主要是她这刹车太硬。

齐大胜：真没事假没事？

于果：真没事。

齐大胜：我看看。

于果：刹车没有，你看。

齐大胜：有事，咱得去看一下！

于果：刹车太硬！

齐大胜：咱得去拍一片子！

于果：刹车太硬！

李三妹：哎，你不流氓嘛？你这不是无赖嘛！

男摊主1-6：哎，你那钱怎么办？
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：什么钱啊？

男摊主1-6：你那朋友吃完饭还没结账呢。
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：谁跟他朋友啊！

男摊主1-6：那，那孩子呢？
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：什么孩子？不知道。

男摊主1-6：不行，那孩子你给我领走。
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：什么？

男摊主1-6：孩子。
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：不是不是，这跟我有什么关系呀？

李三弟：哎？

李三妹：不认识。

李三弟：哎。

男摊主1-6：来。
MALE VENDOR 1-6:

李三妹：夏天？夏天？

夏天：（笑）

李三妹：（呼气）

李三弟：这这这……

2-10 26:48
人物：李三妹，李三弟，泰勒
CHARACTERS: LI SANMEI, LI SANDI, TAYLOR

李三妹：进来进来。

李三弟：搭把手，我不行了，太沉了。（喘息）

李三妹：放沙发上，快快快。

李三弟：我说咱这就，就这样给人孩子抱回家了？

李三妹：那怎么着啊？扔大街上啊？

李三弟：不是，那人孩子家长得多着急啊？

李三妹：摔我车那个就是他家长。

李三弟：那好吧，交给你了老大。

李三妹：（叹气）

2-11 27:26
人物：泰勒
CHARACTERS: TAYLOR

泰勒：Hello, this is Taylor.哦，李小姐，你好！我记得你。什么？那夏天现在在哪？（呼气）这样啊！我现在在首尔，我会用最快的方式回到北京，麻烦你在我回去之前，帮我照顾一下他行吗？（呼气）麻烦你了，谢谢。Selena, it’s me. Book the next flight to Beijing for me. Yeah. One-way, and text me the flight information. That’s it.


2-12 28:31
人物：姗姗，薛丽
CHARACTERS: SHANSHAN, XUELI

薛丽：宝贝！宝贝，你怎么了？

姗姗：（哭腔）这次人家一定要跟他分手啦！（哭泣）

薛丽：镇定点，慢慢讲。喂，有没有帮我洗过这件衣服的？

姗姗：（哭腔）你别说那些没有用的了，你倒是开导开导我呀。

薛丽：我就觉得好酷的。

姗姗：什么酷啊？

薛丽：这个简直就是电影里面的情节来的，而且不是国语片，也不是港产片，是西片来的哦。

姗姗：什么西片啊？

薛丽：有没有看过幸福来敲门呢？我是西姆呢？（咂嘴）哇，那你这么没有文化啊？

姗姗：（哼唧）

薛丽：（咂嘴）喂，这个杀手不太冷看过吧？

姗姗：（哭腔）杀手？跟我有什么关系呀？

薛丽：（咂嘴）怎么没有关系？那，于果这样的男人啊，本来就是很没有质感的啦。突然之间有了一个儿子啊，再看他不一样了！好洋气的。

姗姗：是吗？

薛丽：怎么不是的？你想一下啦，他那么年轻，你也那么年轻，你们共同有一个孩子，好可爱的哦， 好芭比的哦！

姗姗：有吗？

薛丽：怎么没有？你知道维多利亚？你也知道贝克汉姆？他们也是那么年轻， 那么漂亮，还有他们的孩子啊，可以跟他们一起穿母子装的。想起来都很兴奋啊。

姗姗：（哭腔）可是，可是又不是我生的。

薛丽：那不是更好喽！喂，你想一下，每年有很多女孩子因为生孩子死掉了。于果啊简直就是太到位了！哎，你不要想那么多了，你听我的吧。今天晚上好好睡一觉，明天起来我陪你去找于果，你听我怎么跟他说吧。

姗姗：嗯。（哭喊）

薛丽：喔！

2-13 32:20
人物：泰勒，李三妹，周云青，夏天
CHARACTERS: TAYLOR, LI SANMEI, ZHOU YUNQING, XIA TIAN

周云青：来了。

泰勒：你好。

周云青：哟……

泰勒：请问李三妹小姐是住这儿吗？

周云青：是。

泰勒：哎。我之前跟李三妹小姐电话约好了。

周云青：那就进来吧。

泰勒：谢谢。

李三妹：（反应）

周云青：三妹，有个男的找你。

李三妹：啊？

泰勒：你好。

李三妹：你来啦。夏天，快！

夏天：舅舅？

2-14 33:20
人物：于果，薛丽，姗姗
CHARACTERS: YU GUO, XUE LI, SHANSHAN

于果：谁啊？（咂嘴）（叹气）（叹气）谁呀？

薛丽：你搞什么？

于果：你怎么来了？

薛丽：我怎么来？我来看一下现代版的陈世美啊！

于果：她都跟你说了？

薛丽：说了，一边说一边哭，哭得整个脸都肿掉了。心痛死她了。

于果：（咂嘴）那我们家姗现在呢？

薛丽：哦，还你们家姗呢！你出那么大一个事情，你觉得人家要跟你过的吗？喂，于果，我真的真的很崇拜你我。你要什么没什么，除了这张脸还可以，你凭什么啊？（咂嘴）你……啊，我真的不知道怎么说你好。

于果：那都是认识她之前的事！

薛丽：那孩子呢？是不是现在的事情啊？

于果：哎呀。（咂嘴）

薛丽：你打算怎么办？

于果：那个孩子呢，他有他的舅舅，是吧？人家很快就带着，带着孩子就回美国了。

薛丽：你确定？

于果：特别确这事。

薛丽：那你错了吗？

于果：错，必须错，错大发了。

薛丽：出来吧。

姗姗：（哭腔）叔叔，你不要生我的气，是我不好。我是有多小气，不接受你的baby。我想好了，以后你就是我叔叔，他就是我弟弟，我就是他的后妈咪。

于果：嗯，等会儿，有点乱。

姗姗：（哭）

于果：（哭腔）我们这对苦命的鸳鸯。

2-15 35:31
人物：泰勒，夏天，李三妹
CHARACTERS: TAYLOR, XIA TIAN, LI SANMEI

泰勒：准备好跟舅舅回去了吗？

夏天：去于果那儿吗？

泰勒：Of course not. I won’t let you go back. Look what happened yesterday.

夏天：Why? We really had fun yesterday. Dad took me to eat something, very yummy, very spicy. After I drank the beer, I felt much better. The beer is good. Then, we met Auntie Sanmei, so we came here.

泰勒：Wait. Beer?

夏天：Yes!

李三妹：不光喝了啤酒，还喝大了。那男的还把我车给摔了！

2-16 36:06
人物：李三弟，周云青，李三妹
CHARACTERS: LI SANDI, ZHOU YUNQING, LI SANMEI

周云青：哎呀，再用点儿劲！

李三弟：这儿啊？

周云青：嗯。送走了？

李三妹：啊。打住啊，知道你要问什么。不是你想的那样啊。

李三弟：姐……

李三妹：你起开！我告诉你啊，我跟那个人要多不熟就有多不熟。他就是我一客户，知道吗？

李三弟：知道。您知道了吗？

周云青：知道。

李三妹：知道什么呀你们？八婆。

2-17 36:37
人物：姗姗，于果，泰勒，夏天
CHARACTERS: SHANSHAN, YU GUO, TAYLOR, XIA TIAN

于果：（哼唱）

姗姗：你要干什么？不要！

于果：（哼唱）谁这么不长眼？谁啊？

姗姗：哎，弟弟。

泰勒：能单独聊会儿吗？

于果：你带他出去待会儿。

夏天：不要，我要跟你在一起。

于果：哎哟，行了，你快下去待会儿吧。

泰勒：为什么给他喝酒？

于果：喝酒有什么不好的？杀菌消毒。再说你喝，他就能喝。

泰勒：他只有六岁，而且我也不喝啤酒。

于果：哦。

泰勒：为什么丢下他自己走了？

于果：忘了。

泰勒：忘了？他如果丢了怎么办？如果遇到危险怎么办？

于果：这不是没丢嘛？

泰勒：说实话，我很想立刻带他走。

于果：我没拦着你。

泰勒：可是他不想走，他的心对你还有幻想。所以我必须尊重他的意愿，让他留在这儿。可是我希望我再来接他的时候，他最起码能健健康康的。所以他如果病了、瘦了，我会非常不开心。

于果：我还不高兴呢！他在我这儿吃我的，喝我的，我还不落好了是吗？我这儿就这条件，我没钱给他买面包、黄油、汉堡包，能过就过，不能过你趁早带他走！

泰勒：行。（吸气）从现在开始，他生活上所有的花销由我负责。你只要缺钱了给我打电话，这样子可以吗？

于果：（咂嘴）（叹气）这样并不是不行。

泰勒：我想你还没有做亲子鉴定吧？我劝你趁早做了。知道结果以后，你会对夏天好一点的。

泰勒：郭总，好久不见了。（笑）这次呢，我会在北京待一段时间，所以我想跟你要一个人。

2-18 39:20
人物：齐大胜，小艾
CHARACTERS: QI DASHENG, XIAOAI

齐大胜：小宝宝！（笑）

小艾：哎哟，你怎么在这儿啊？

齐大胜：一夜没睡，满脑子都是你。今儿一睁眼就过来了，在你们家楼下猫了三个多小时。

小艾：怎么听你说话没一句像真的？

齐大胜：那我的错，啊？句句是真，反而让你听着觉得句句都像假的。以后这样啊，隔三差五我就跟你说两句假话，这样你听着就像真的了。（笑）

小艾：起来。

齐大胜：哎哎，我我、我送你。

小艾：不用不用不用，我今天晚了！

齐大胜：不是不是不是。

小艾：我坐地铁就行了。

齐大胜：我开车送你绝对比地铁还快，真的。

小艾：哎哟！天呐，我这是不是就跟你同流合污了呀？

齐大胜：怎么可能呢？绝对是诱敌深入啊！

齐大胜：（反应）（笑）

小艾：你自己看，你看看，你看看这车都堵哪儿去了？还说比地铁快，我这几点才能到？

齐大胜：呀、呀、呀，静下心来别着急。我给你放首歌。马上就到。走着。（唱）你深邃的眼眸想要透露什么密码，犹豫的嘴角躲在严肃的背影下，压抑的空气……哎，小宝宝，咱一块儿吃午饭吧？

小艾：哎哟，我中午得批卷子！

齐大胜：那一起吃晚饭？

小艾：再说吧！

2-19 41:10
人物：于果，男医生2-19
CHARACTERS: YU GUO, MALE DOCTOR 2-19

男医生2-19：于先生是吧？

于果：啊。

男医生2-19：表格填了吗？

于果：刚填了。

男医生2-19：做父子鉴定是吧？

于果：对对对。

男医生2-19：那样本带了吗？

于果：带了。这个是孩子的，刚才您的那个工作人员说让我给您。我的他们已经采完了。

男医生2-19：哦。

于果：呃，我我、我想问一下，这个最快什么时候能出来？

男医生2-19：你很着急是吧？

于果：对啊，做这种鉴定肯定着急。

男医生2-19：最快要三天，要付加急费。你再到收费处交三百块钱。

于果：还要付加急费啊？

男医生2-19：这是规定。

于果：啊，那那那、那算了。

男医生2-19：那七个工作日以后来取结果吧。

于果：好，那没什么事了是吧？

男医生2-19：没了，走吧。

于果：好嘞。


2-20 42:12
人物：男门卫2-20，齐大胜，女老师2-20
CHARACTERS: MALE GUARD 2-20, QI DASHENG

男门卫2-20：哎，站住，站住，你找谁呀？

齐大胜：不是，我给我媳妇送饭来。

男门卫2-20：出去，出去。

齐大胜：啊？怎么了？

男门卫2-20：站在这儿说，咱们。

齐大胜：不是不是，站那儿说干嘛？我给我媳妇送饭，大爷！怎么了？

男门卫2-20：你送饭，这儿有这儿的规定。

齐大胜：有什么规定啊？

男门卫2-20：啊，你在我这儿登个记。

齐大胜：不是，大爷，我就送个饭我就出来了。

男门卫2-20：送个饭也要登记。

齐大胜：不是，我登记！我一会儿下来我就直接给你。大爷大爷大爷，你能不能别碰我？我给我媳妇儿送饭，你老在这儿挡着干什么玩意儿？真是的。

男门卫2-20：登记。

齐大胜：不是，我登记，我一会儿下来我就直接……大爷大爷大爷。

男门卫2-20：你怎么回事你？

齐大胜：你能不能别碰我？你把我的饭弄洒了，你这老头怎么这样啊？

男门卫2-20：怎么回事啊你？我看你就不是好人！

齐大胜：你才不是好人呢！

男门卫2-20：啊。

齐大胜：你才不是好人呢！我怎么不是好人了？

2-21 42:50
人物：孩子们2-21，女老师2-21
CHARACTERS: CHILDREN 2-21, FEMALE TEACHER 2-21

孩子们2-21：（吵闹声）

女老师2-20：哎，你怎么还在这儿啊？你家那位在楼下呢，让大爷给拦住了，你快去看看吧。
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